Jason

Jason on Thursday June 4 went in front of the board at Cornell University to decide if he had earned his Masters. It happened at 2 pm at 515 I got a call and all I heard was Whoop Whoop!!!! Which means my oldest son has a Masters in Math. I am so proud of him. I am proud of all my sons!!!! Jason has always loved Math, since he was a little boy. We counted everything!!!!

GRADES

By most posting you can tell I had a rough semester I ended up with Three A's and one B. The B was hard earned lesson and one I will never forget. Something about making sure I turn papers in on time no matter what and emailing to myself so incase my power gets turned off I will always have a copy. But not bad for old lady!!!!

May I make my brilliant SONS proud???

just another day!!

Hey its been a great sabbath day!! Our wards are changing and I am looking forward to it. Today is Sunday school we talked about the plan of salvation. One of the questions that Bro. Dittmer asked was what is mortal life for?? Everyone in Sunday school talked for a while. But he said he thought of course all the usual answers but he said that it is because we will learn Father will prepare a way for everything. I was thinking if I have the faith and turn it over to him then I will have the desire of marriage. By no means am I not enjoying my life but I am wanting the everyday of marriage. I miss it.

I have been struggling with Do I miss Greg??? I do and always believe that our marriage was suppose to happen and it is eternal. I loved him back when I was 19 and I still do. Is that why I have never thought about remarrying someone else? Back when we were married I know I needed to grow up alot and I always thought the grass was greener on the other side and boy did I find out different? Is Greg just comforted or what? Don't you think we are weird neither one of us has ever married, we talk to each other a couple times a week, and we go out at least once a week. We still do things for eachother. We have learned to respect eachother and our opinions and the fact that we both did wrong things in the marriage. Do I miss him? Is he just a comfort? Do I love him? Am I wanting a impossible thing? I wish I knew?

OVERWHELMED

Its April and I love school. But I find it really overwhelming right now. I am working unbelieveable hours at work and its hard to think about school. I am also doing my internship I love the site. Flanner House its the first african american community center in the state of Indiana its 110 years old. I am having so much fun and its amazing how busy it is. I have missed this. I have not been to 12 step group in along time and just recently Idecided that I need it. just to keep my head straight.

Wow its been along time

The semester is half way over. I am still feeling a little overwhelmed with life right now. But no where as bad as I was. I realized that I can only do so much. So for some reason that has made me feel better. Just the other day I was thinking about my life and what I have seen that are miracles. I know that I have had alot of them in my life. First my sons, with each one I was told never to have more children. Second, I think the biggest one just happened about three years ago. I went back to church. Not only did I go back but I went with my heart and soul in the right place. I learned that the atonement applied to me. That Jesus died for me, unlike before where I thought it was for everyone else except me. I went back because even though I grew up in the church and I tried to forget, I couldn't. I went back because I came to a point where I wanted and needed peace and joy in my life. Through the gospel I have found that. I have been places that the devil would not even go and I lived. I have walked streets that no one has business on but I walked through them. I have been in houses where I have seen things that I can not forget but want to. I have things done to me and allowed things done that I wished never happened. I expose my family to a way of life that I wish I never did. Now I know that I am a better and stronger person because of that path. I would never choose it again ! i love my family, I have empathy for people walking that path, I am kinder because of that path, I know one person can change the world, I know Jesus is the ultimate example of that. He was one person and he changed a whole world. I know I can change the world I live in.

BUSY BUSY TIRED TOO TIRED

I don't know what is wrong with me. I am so tired. I have not been feeling good lately. I have stopped whining about this but my body does not feel right. I have been to my doctor and he ordered a colon test and that was fine except for a pocket. I will be glad when I get some energy. That will be good.